I wish I could punch you in the face.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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