you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
