covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
