I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
