I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i barfeds in our rink
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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