While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
