There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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