Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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