and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
