All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
