I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
