Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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