We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
