I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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