Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
