I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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