P.S. I can't hear my feet
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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