it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
