Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
