Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
