Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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