Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I supernannyed him into submission
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
