you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize