I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
