those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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