Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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