dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
