Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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