I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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