At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
