Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
This gyro tastes like lonliness
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
