He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
