I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
