there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
