Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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