She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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