No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize