I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
