In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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