But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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