Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
