My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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