Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
