i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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