ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
