He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
