absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Randomize
