Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
