Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
