stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
All I want is dick and wine.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
