yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
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