Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Randomize
