things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
