I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
