This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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