Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
