she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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