Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We had to coat check the pizza.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
