so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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