It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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