I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
