Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
